"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10." "Qualifications: No education or experience." "I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy." "My compensation should be at least equal to my age." "Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC." "Fired because I fought for lower pay." "Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6’5" . " "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date." "Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near." "Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word ’paranoia.’ I prefer to elaborate privately." 在
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