【摘 要】本文旨在通过中西交际用语行为如称呼语、问候语、称赞语和告别语等方面的差异，并分析了中西言语交际过程中所反映出的如个人隐私、传统文化的冲突。此外，作者将揭示导致文化差异的原因在于不同的思维方式和不同的语言迁移。
【关键词】交际用语；文化差异；中国；西方
1 Introduction
Human beings can not live without culture， nor can they survive without communication. When an inspanidual enter into a new environment， no matter how broad-minded or full of good will he or she is. He or she is like a fish out of water， and it is no easy for he or she to adapt to the new environment quickly. This is followed by a feeling of frustration and anxiety. First， they reject the environment which causes the discomfort： “the ways of the host country are not appropriate because they make us feel bad.” So what should we do is to avoid the feeling of frustration and anxiety？ Learning English culture can help us not only avoid the negative feeling of culture shocks but also communicate with people who speak English effectively. Otherwise， lacking knowledge of English culture will surely lead to communication problems， such as conflicts or misunderstanding， as we can call them “pragmatic failures”.
In addition， with the development of science and technology， the world seems becoming smaller and smaller. More and more foreigners come and go everyday. When it is in the same country， the same city， the same neighborhood， the cultural collision is expected to be more serious. So we should try to avoid misunderstandings resulting from culture differences. One important thing is to get some basic knowledge about the other cultures so as not to misunderstand some actions or habits of the foreigners. With the frequent communicating with western countries in economy， politics， culture and other aspects， learning how to communicate with westerners has become very important.
The first part is the general introduction of the purpose and the background of the thesis.
The second part discuss the definitions of culture and communication， and analyzes the relationship between culture and communication， culture and language. The third part shows several examples to analyze the cultural differences between China and the West in verbal communication. The forth and fifth parts deal with the culture conflicts and its causes in the cross-cultural communication， based on previous discussions. The last part is a conclusion based on the discussions in the previous chapters.
In this essay， we do not talk about the unclear expressions caused by grammatical structure error， but the improper speaking manner which we perform. How can we express our words to meet the habits of western people， or when should we speak to meet the right situations， or what conversations can we make according to the social customs and habits of western people. Here we are discussing some conventional misunderstandings that appear in our daily communication. Thus， we can communicate with western people more fluently. 2 Culture and communication
2.1 Definitions of culture
2.2 Definitions of communication
As for communication， the definitions are more spanerse and varied in nature and scope. S. S. Stevens defined communication as the discriminatory response of an organism to a stimulus. This means that communication occurs as the stimulus from outside occurs， like environmental disturbance. Niklas Luhmann defined communication as social interaction through messages which could be formally coded， symbolic or representational events of some shared aspect of a culture.
In my opinion， actually， communication occurs in any place where there are human beings. When a baby is just born， it usually cries. Does the crying communicate anything？ When you graduate， your friends usually say “Congratulations！” to you. When a driver sees the red light， he or she will stop. All these connected with our everyday life and we can hardly survive without them. Communication is the basis of all human contact and with which human was born. Today it has become even more important. Some people believe that communication means power and money. Whoever has information has power， and hence has control over those less informed. Whether you agree or not， it indicates that we have to take communication very seriously.
2.3 Relationship between culture and language
Language is not only the tools that express human’s thoughts and feelings which is used for communication， but also a part of the culture， and has the rich culture connotation. （Li Hongmei， 2009） Language is an indispensable part of social life of human beings， which is affected by culture deeply and plays an important role in all activities of human being. It is also a special component of culture. If we regard culture as an all-embracing concept， then the language will belong to people’s overall culture. But when compared with other parts of culture， it has a special status. At this sense， we can see language as a kind of social phenomenon， a tool that people use for communication， a medium that harmonize people with culture. 3 Cultural differences between China and the West in verbal communication
With a long history of China， Chinese people have set up a series of communication system. This system is based on our thoughts， our culture， our society and so on. When we communicate with western people， we are often used to communicate by our ways. But in western people’s view， some of these ways are not appropriate. That is the reason why we study western culture. We can easily find out some specific differences in some aspects through the comparison between Chinese culture and western culture， such as the value orientation， the concept of time， privacy concepts and so on. In this essay， we just talk about the differences between China and the West in verbal communication behavior.
3.1 Ways of addressing
When we communicate with other people， the first thing we should concern about is how to call him， that is to say the ways of addressing. Due to the influence of different culture， China and the West have different moral concepts. And we will see this concept will reflect the ways of addressing. In China， the ways of addressing are different between noble people and humble people， the old and the young， and people from different grades etc. （Xu Haiying， 2006） In the West， the ways of addressing have their own characteristics which is more simple than that in China. How to address people appropriately and correctly？ If you use the right ways， you can not only get closer to other people but also make the conversations successful. So it is necessary to discuss about the differences of the ways of addressing between China and the West.
The first thing we should mention about is the difference in the sequence of name. In China， we usually put the surname at the first， but in the West， they usually put the given name at the first. In China， people usually call the name of his or her imitate friends directly. But in the West， it is common to see that people call one’s name directly. For example， in the West， children often call their grandparents’ names directly instead of calling grandpa or grandma. This case， in our eyes， seems unreasonable， and we also consider this to be impolite and uncomfortable. On the contrary， the western people consider this to be kind and appropriate.
4 The conflicts appeared in verbal communication
In verbal communication between China and the West， it’s not difficult for us to find some culture conflicts， such as the conflicts on privacy and the conflicts on traditional cultures. 4.1 The conflicts on privacy
The privacy sense of Chinese people is very weak. Chinese people think inspanidual should belong to the collective； they think people should be united like a big family； they think people should care for each other. So， Chinese people are willing to know the other people’s things and the others also want to tell them. But western people think the personal privacy is more important. They want to have personal space and they are not willing to tell others their own stuff， they do not even want others interfere with their life. So， there are many conflicts on privacy between Chinese people and western people.
The westerns advocate inspanidualism. Inspanidualism refers to the doctrine that the rights of the inspanidual are the most important ones in a society. Most westerners believe that each person has his own separate identity and personality， which should be recognized and reinforced. Only with the cognition of inspanidualism can we understand how westerners conceptualize family， friendships， and privacy. The core of inspanidualism is the pursuit of personality and achievements. It is highly valued， earnestly believed and well appreciated as a fundamental social virtue. In Christianity traditions， inspaniduals are important not only to each other， but also to the society. Inspanidualism has been handed down from their ancestors. Therefore， to westerners， inspanidualism is not selfishness but rather virtue. They emphasize inspanidualism so much that they believe that there must be something wrong with someone who fails to demonstrate inspanidualism. God helps those who help themselves. However， to Chinese people， the word “inspanidualism” is related to the derogatory meaning as egoism， which represents selfishness in quality and looseness in discipline. In traditional Chinese beliefs， especially in Confucianism， collectivism is appreciated. It emphasizes cooperation among group members and inspanidual success is due to the collective effort of the staff in a unit， an organization or a community.
4.2 The conflicts on traditional cultures
Chinese people pay special attention to modesty. When they communicate with others， they often respect others but look down upon themselves. They think this is a virtue and this makes the conversation begins with a good start. When others praise Chinese people， they often show very modest. Western countries do not have this phenomenon， when they are praised， they are often very happy and say “thank you” to others to show they accept the praise. Because of the cultural difference， Chinese people often hold that western people are too confident and ignorant of the fact that modesty is one kind of politeness in Chinese cultures. But， when western people know Chinese people do not agree with others when others praise them or when western people know Chinese people deny their own achievement， western people will feel very surprised， they think Chinese people are not honest. To the western people， if you ask them： “Have you had the meal？” They may think that you are going to invite them to have a dinner.（Cai Liying， 2007）But in China， it is just a way for greeting. 5 The reasons for cultural differences
There are many factors lead to cultural differences， such as religion， value， history， geography and so on. The basic reason is that China and western countries have different culture， different history background. All of these will surely bring the difference of people’s mode of thinking， difference in language transference， thus conflicts can hardly be avoided.
5.1 The difference in the mode of thinking
Culture has an effect on people’s view and cognition. Different countries have different cultures. So， the difference in people’s thinking way must exist. You can easily find such difference between Chinese culture and western culture. Chinese people think inspanidual should belong to the collective； but western people think the personal privacy is more important.
5.2 The difference in language transference
Some people meet troubles in intercultural communication. One reason is that they neglect the language transference. The rule of using language is different because of the difference of culture. One can explain something in its own culture， but fail to do so in another culture. The basic reason is that people lack the sensation of the difference of social language. They will use language transference unconsciously. The result of this action is very serious， may cause some big problem.
6 Conclusions
In the past decades， many linguists， sociologists， language teachers and communication specialists have done a lot of researches concerning verbal communication. But verbal communication is still quite young as a discipline which needs to be studied further. Successful communication among China and the west concerns verbal behavior.
For the difference in the mode of thinking and the difference in language transference， there are many cultural conflicts： the conflicts on privacy， the conflicts on traditional cultures， in intercultural communication， and it affects the comsxmunication between Chinese and westerners. So， it is necessary for us to improve the ability of intercultural communication. This is the right way to avoid the cultural conflicts. And we had better obey the westerner’s norms when we are communicating with the western people. In addition， we should maintain the cultural identity of native culture. Only in this way can we improve our communicative competence.
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